10 DIY Projects You Will Never See On Pinterest

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2. Antonin Scalia Nail Art: Use your next mani to pay tribute to every woman’s favorite Supreme Court Justice! Designs include a sad gay couple who can’t get married, a birth control pill with “Slut” written on it, and of course, save both your thumbnails for realistic nail polish portraits of Scalia’s bloated, scowling face.

Last week we discussed hair tutorials you’ll never see on Pinterest, and now it’s time to explore the do-it-yourself side of Pinterest. The site has quickly become a go-to source for DIY tutorials and inspiration, a veritable bible for crafters. And while you can find pinned instructions for how to DIY almost anything on Pinterest, from inspirational wall decor to cucumber popsicles to bug repellent, there are still a few projects that will never appear on your Pinterest page. Such as...

1. “Die, Cry, Hate” Wall Decal

Let’s face it: we’re at the point of oversaturation with the whole “Live, Laugh, Love” thing. Time to spice up your home decor with its logical opposite: “Die, Cry, Hate.” In pink glitter letters. Duh.

2. Antonin Scalia Nail Art

Use your next mani to pay tribute to every woman’s favorite Supreme Court justice! Designs include a sad gay couple who can’t get married, a birth control pill with “Slut” written on it, and of course, save both your thumbnails for realistic nail polish portraits of Scalia’s bloated, scowling face.

3. 30-Day Dirty Eating Plan

Clean eating is so passé, you guys. It’s time to get on board the newest trend: dirty eating! Look good and feel great by following this monthly diet plan that includes bacon donut burgers for breakfast, white bread lard sandwiches for lunch, croissant mashed potato cake for dinner, and thrice-daily snacks of handfuls of processed cane sugar.

4. Mad Max-Themed Nursery Mobile

Lull your fussy infant to sleep with a handmade mobile featuring scenes and props from Mad Max: Fury Road. Experienced crafters can add real flames and small, controlled explosions to take the experience to the next level.

5. Inspirational Nickelback Quote

There are so many lyric options to choose from, but might I suggest “You look so much cooler with something in your mouth”? In cross-stitch or calligraphy, hang it next to your bathroom mirror so it’s the first thing you see when you wake up in the morning, then go seize the day!

6. Low-Carb Compost Pizza Crust Recipe

This clever recipe replaces flour with compost — a great way to use all those rotten banana peels, stay on your low-carb diet, and still satisfy your craving for pizza! [On second thought, I could totally see this on Pinterest.]

7. DIY Home Glory Hole

Bring the charm and sexual anonymity of a truck stop restroom rendezvous right into your home with a DIY glory hole — lined with paisley print velour and bordered by rhinestones, naturally.

8. Natural Stretch Mark Enhancement Cream

Using only honey, apple cider vinegar, and melted Mason jar paste, this DIY salve is guaranteed to increase the appearance of your stretch marks by 50% in six weeks.

9. Faux Vintage Travel Poster That Says “Paris Sucks”

Because ugh, Paris, am I right?

10. Realistic Engagement Photo Shoot

Frolicking in fields and drinking out of the same antique water fountain while smiling gleefully is the go-to engagement photo shoot itinerary. Looking for something different? Try this DIY version where you ask a friend to snap iPhone photos of your real life as an engaged couple: realizing he still has a ton of baggage from his last relationship, bickering over cocktail napkin options, trying to figure out where that weird smell is coming from (“Is it the laundry bin or your shoes?”), and binge-watching Netflix every night while saying, “Remember when we used to do stuff?” Ah, young love!

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