A Sound Choice Slow Loris, Lady Gaga Deserved Your Love Bite

Lady Gaga, an endangered slow loris, a baby kangaroo, and an “exotic” goat were all making a music video in the famous castle of a dead millionaire last week.

Yes, it sounds like the beginning of an elaborate riddle that might end with something about monsters and meat or may be the missing link between a Bad Romance and Where the Wild Things Are. It’s no joke, but here’s the punch line: Lady Gaga got bitten by one of the cutest things on Earth: (Not Taylor Kinney!) The slow loris took a nip at Gaga on set of the video for “G.U.Y. (Girl Under You)”. She wasn’t injured but the lil primate was still swiftly dismissed. As it turned out, none of the animals made it into the final video. (Apparently, a California State Parks Department Officer took one look at the goat and was just like, nah, not on my watch.)

Here’s the thing, friends. Wild animals: There’s a reason they earned the prefix, right? Calling them “wild” isn’t a challenge, it’s a warning. These are the animals not meant for day to day interaction. If a cat can f*ck you up, one of those wild things, cute as they may be, seems like it would scratch the sh*t out of you for a lot less than some Fancy Feast.

We were shocked and delighted when B Spears performed with Banana the python at the VMA’s in 2001, but 13 years later, we’re much less phased when celebs wrangle up wild critters to costar in shoots and on stage with them and we’re not surprised when things go awry. Like, what were you expecting?

The thing is though, we’re fascinated with the danger. Seeing animals up close in theatrical context, videos, performances, in theme parks, lessens the physical divide, but also lessens the dignity of the animals involved. Given, seeing KP get all buddy-buddy with a ruthless tiger last year in her video for ‘Roar’ made her seem kinda unconquerable, it also really pissed off PETA. Wild animals, even captive ones, are not to be f*cked with and promoting them as props is just, well, rude (not to mention really risky). Stars may spark thrills with fans when wild animals are used (used being a key word here), but we hope they know they don’t have to call on ferocious friends to prove how fierce they can be.


Image: commons.wikimedia.org

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