I’m a rebel mom. I’m not labeling myself a “rebel” to start a revolution. Or to be cool.
I’m a rebel mom because I reject the ridiculous ideals of motherhood that WE ARE RELENTLESSLY FED. I’m a renegade because I admit these motherhood norms and ideals don’t serve women. They don’t serve mothers. And they damn sure, don’t serve our kids. They are damaging.
According to mass media, you are either a frumpy, harried, hot ass mess mom who is running around like a maniac on speed...
Or you’re the mom with an impeccable blowout, who is blissfully rocking her new baby in a beige glider, while donning a crisp, white nightgown. And PS- you’ve miraculously lost ALL of your baby weight in six weeks. You are a former Victoria’s Secret model. And fucking unicorn.
Neither are my reality.
These stereotypical and reductive representations of mothers don’t represent me.
For starters—my personal style doesn’t match up to these images. Not even close.
I have visible tattoos. Sometimes I dye my hair unnatural colors. Greens and blues. Sometimes my pants are ripped. Sometimes my bra is showing (on purpose). I like to wear black. Black nail polish. Black clothes.
I’m busy, and sometimes chaotically so—but, aren’t we all?
And I love my babies, but they’re NOT my whole world. They don’t make up my whole being.
I know that my appearance and disdain for “mommy talk” has been an obstacle in making mommy friends. Please believe I’ve clocked a lot of awkward time in corners at kiddie birthday parties. I know I don’t fit in with other moms.
I don’t love talking about overpriced birthday party themes on Pinterest. I don’t want to share birth stories. I don’t like gossiping about other moms in mommy meet-up groups. Or Facebook groups. I don’t want to scroll through endless family selfies on your cell phone.
I can’t talk potty-training poop stories with people I barely know. CAN’T EVEN. I WILL VOMIT.
If you enjoy doing these things—that’s fine. It’s more than fine. Do you, boo. But, I can’t hang.
I’m interested in current events, politics, social injustices, feminism, music, and art. And just because I’m a mom, doesn’t mean I have to lose interest in these things.
I’m over the judgment, shame, and overall negativity that plagues modern motherhood. I’m not about that life. Maybe it IS time for a revolution.
Here are 10 Reasons Rebel Moms TOTALLY ROCK:
1. We don’t care to fit in.
We’d actually prefer not to fit into mainstream culture. Being contrarian is kinda our thing. We value others who “don’t fit in” and cherish their otherness, just as we cherish our own.
2. We’re not binary beings.
We’re fluid. We understand that people aren’t one definitive label. We actually really like eluding labels and definitions. We shift and move as we learn more about ourselves and the world we live in. We won’t get mad if you change your mind. Change your hair. Change your gender. Sexual orientation. Or parenting-style. We get it. We support you.
3. We value and embrace self-expression.
Whatever that looks like for you and for your kids. Rebel moms are their unabashed selves. We encourage our friends to do the same. We support those who embrace their individuality as mothers, women and humans.
4. We don’t give a f*ck about being perfect.
Mainstream culture gives us the idea that a “good mom” is the one who is constantly engaged with her kids. The “good mom” fawns over her kid’s EVERY everything. The one who always remembers the sunscreen. And organic snacks. Has a clean house. Or is in the PTA. We’ve been taught that the “good mom” is one that relentlessly, self-obliterates herself every single day for the propping up and betterment of her spouse and children. If rejecting all of that, makes me a bad mom, so be it. Rebel moms would never expect our friends to want to be perfect, or strive to be unattainably (and boringly) perfect in any way.
5. We have the best playlists.
Think lots of underground music vibes. And art—we know good art.
6. We refuse to take the world as it is.
We are pillars for progress and change. We are nurturing and molding the next class of cultural heroes and sheroes.
7. We’re raising really empathetic human beings.
We’re leading the next generation on a journey of total acceptance of everyone, creativity, and kindness.
8. We value off-road experiences and adventure.
I don’t necessarily mean trips, hiking, or camping. I just mean that rebel moms ALWAYS feel outside of their comfort zones, so doing and trying new things is totally first nature to us. We’re always down for a new experience with a friend.
9. We accept everyone.
The socially awkward moms. The odd moms out. The moms with anxiety. Depression. Disabilities. The moms who’ve had miscarriages and abortions. The drinkers. The smokers. The recovering addicts and alcoholics. The breast-feeders and formula-feeders. The stay-at-home, work-at-home and work-outside-the-home moms (PS- those are all redundant terms). The inked mamas. The mamas with piercings and vibrant colored hair. THE DADS. The stay-at-home dads, work-at-home dads, work-outside-the-home dads (again, all redundant). The Republicans. Democrats. We don’t care who you are. Come as you are.
10. We love our kids.
In our own way. On our terms. We take care of our kids the best way we see fit. And we don’t give side-eye to other parents who do things differently.
Rebel moms are unique, real, and totally badass. And you don’t have to be a perfect mom (whatever that is), to come play in our playground. Instead of seeing who can build the best sand castle, and do it the best way, let’s see who can build the best bridge. The one that brings all sides together. One that keeps us afloat, above the rising tide of parental bashing and utter bullshit.