We have all been there before. The stuck place. Your body feels heavy, your feet glued to the floor. Maybe you have a hard time getting out of bed. Maybe you feel sad about a relationship that is deteriorating or has completely dissolved. Maybe you just feel completely spent and worn out, and lack the energy to move at all. Or maybe you have this great, big, beautiful life you're afraid to step into and the fear has you paralyzed.
I understand. I've been there, too.
I won't tell you that I have the answers, because I don't. I can tell you what has worked for me, though. And I can tell you that you are not alone in feeling stuck.
1. Imagine a Different Outcome.
I started meditating. Well, kinda meditating. I don't have the capacity to sit still and focus on being zen for an hour everyday. That's just not my jam. But I do have the capacity to close my eyes.
When I get tripped up and triggered, I shut my eyes and face the thing that has me feeling too much. Then I whisper to myself, "Imagine a different outcome." Because I know that as long as I'm in the stuck feeling, I can't even begin to move out of it. The power of opening myself up to a different scenario or empowered resolution instantly shifts my energy, even if it doesn't produce a plan for the specifics of how. Imagining a different outcome produces possibility, which is where the forward movement starts.
2. Refresh Your Space.
I'm not trying to get all KonMari on your ass. Yes, fill your space with objects that you love and feel connected to. Yes, get rid of unnecessary crap and clothes that no longer fit the body you inhabit now. But don't get tripped up with thinking that you have to do it a certain way to get the benefit.
Rearrange the art on your walls. Cut some branches or buy some flowers and place them in a prominent spot in your home where your eye naturally travels. Invest in some up-cycled curtains, or rediscover a coffee mug that has been hanging out in the back of your cupboard. Give your counters and cabinets a good wipe-down with a nicely scented cleaning spray. Whatever. Shifting your external space often inspires an inner shift, too.
3. Reach Out.
I have three friends that I reach out to when I feel stuck. I hate feeling that way, and I hate talking about it even more. But I also know that acknowledging stuck feelings is a portal out of them. And really, I HATE IT. I also understand that none of us are meant to exist alone, and we need community to help us see our own blind spots and remind us of what we are capable. You, my friend, are incredibly capable. Find people who will remind you of this often, even (especially) when it doesn't feel true.
4. Get Real About How You Want To Feel.
You feel stuck. Sad. Frustrated. Bummed. Depressed. Anxious. Generally sh*tty. That's fantastic! Truly. You know how you are feeling and you can name it. Now, try naming how you WANT to feel. Inspired. Brave. Energetic. Thankful. Hopeful. Stable. Satisfied. Adventurous. Empowered. Put your own perfect words out there, and write them down. Allow your desired feelings to birth your next movements. (I've found Danielle LaPort's Desire Map to be ridiculously helpful with this.)
5. Move Your Body.
Stand up. Shake your body like a rag doll. Take some deep breaths in and pull the air all the way down to your toes. Bend over and touch your toes, and let the blood rush to your head. Go outside and stand in the grass. Feel the stability of the earth beneath your feet and all of the life you are connected to. Let it flood your body. Remember how strong you are, and how you are always growing stronger.
6. Shrink It.
Good 'ol therapy is one of the most effective ways to get unstuck. We are often operating from old tracks and loops that were established when we were kids. It's not a conscious thing, and there is no shame in it. A gifted therapist can help you find a strategy to silence the loops and change stuck patterns. This might require a little shopping until you can find someone who fits your needs and who also feels safe to you.
It's okay. They're going to help you do hard work, and you deserve to have someone who is up for that task. Your hard work with a licensed mental health professional will help you move out the stuckness more quickly.
Whatever you choose, remember to give yourself grace and tender care. You are needed on this earth to do the thing that only you can do. There is no hurry and there is no time limit set for anything. Take good care of yourself first, hold the door of possibility open, and the rest will fall into place.