Carrie Saum

The fastest way to living without strings is to be up front about expectations and exchanges, even if it's uncomfortable. Like money. Like time. Like emotional sweat equity.

I have a quote on the home screen of my phone that I put up a year ago.

We all have that One Friend. They found a product that they love and just can’t get enough of it. Whatever your problem is, their MLM has a fix for it.

I soaked a few dates in some hot water, whizzed them around in my Nutribullet, strained out the chunks, and put it back in the Nutribullet with my coconut milk, plus a teeny-tiny pinch of pink Himalayan sea salt.The result? A genuinely delightful creamer that blew me away.

20 years later, it is still an experience that I am actively deconstructing. Why? Because I joined a cult. And maybe have too. If so, here’s how to get out.

The great thing is you can use basically any regular substitutions and this will still taste amazing. I literally eat this with a spoon, and because it’s egg-free, I feel no shame. Okay, I don’t feel any shame when I bust into a tub of regular cookie dough, either. I’m just trying to do my fair share to keep you from getting salmonella.

No real measuring, no special ingredients, and it makes cookies that even the snobbiest cookie connoisseur will crave? It might seem too good to be true, but it's absolutely real.

So, what do you do when you make something that looks a mess but tastes like the Virgin Mary give birth in your mouth? You add more sugar and salt to hide its minor imperfections and nobody gives a damn how it looks after the first bite.

I can’t promise this will cure everything that ails you, but it’s a good start to a new year if nothing else.

Apparently, there's a thing happening in Houston this weekend. A sportsball game of some sort and people are super excited about it.