Carrie Saum

As a mom to a child with profound food allergies, I get a little terrified around the holidays. We are joining the Teal Pumpkin Project this Halloween.

This is utter nonsense. There are no good or bad foods so let's stop moralizing food. Let's also stop moralizing money fitness and time!

I am not here for your betterment. I am not here to be your dumping ground for all of your thoughts and fears. You are not entitled to my emotional labor!

The Internet has told us that instead of selling our wild summer children to a band of traveling performers, we should go swimming with them instead. At a beach or at the pool, your choice. The Internet also told us that us moms should get over our silly body issues and just play! Have fun!

I still wake up every day knowing that no matter how much work I do, as a low-key racist, I will always have more to do. And I’m happy to do it.

My friends, food is getting fancier.

We celebrated our six-week date-a-versary on Lance's birthday. All he wanted was to binge-watch Scrubs and cuddle and eat cake in bed. If there was any question that he was my soulmate before that moment, it was laid to rest. We stayed in bed, watched TV, and ate cake. It was pretty magical, if I'm honest.

The truthiest truth, though, is food is expensive. It costs a pretty penny to feed yourself well, with conviction, ethical sourcing, and quality ingredients. It’s OK if you are privileged enough to be able to eat a certain way — there is NO SHAME in that. But please. be careful not to shame those who are unable to eat according to YOUR convictions.

The great thing is you can use basically any regular substitutions and this will still taste amazing. I literally eat this with a spoon, and because it’s egg-free, I feel no shame. Okay, I don’t feel any shame when I bust into a tub of regular cookie dough, either. I’m just trying to do my fair share to keep you from getting salmonella.

SLEEP IS REALLY IMPORTANT. Here ar six ways to help make your sleep sacred.