Carrie Saum

I didn't have even an ounce of energy to spare to process my own feelings. Everything I had went to my son.

You and I are creatures of habit. And our habit is to be busy. Occupied. Focused on creating and maintaining momentum and a functional life.

I knew it was bound to happen.  

Here's my favorite lazy food dish. I like it because I feel like I'm doing my body a solid by plying it with veggies, and my taste buds rejoice with spicy-sweet comfort food. It's like your very hardworking grandmother is hugging you from the inside.

Oh, you say you’re making this for your neighbor who just had a baby and a traumatic birth experience and you want to be an Exceptional Neighbor and bring her post-partum love and healing in a warm, bubbling cake dish? Fantastic. Just make sure to eat half of the cobbler straight out of the pan first, and then transfer it to another pan and pretend it’s meant to look like a pan of berry mush.

On a practical level, being my own guru means that I trust myself. I can forgive myself when I make mistakes, and not get stuck in cycles of shame and despair. I can ask for help when I need it, and seek out important support like professional therapy and support when I can't get out of my own head.

We are tired and hurting and don't know what else to do.

You feel it. The change.

When I turned 21, my body crashed.

Something powerful shifted for me when I turned 30. I decided to stop caring about my weight as a means to measure my success, beauty and worth as a woman. I gave myself permission to care for my body, and to care for the woman inside that body first.