Erin Khar

I am here to tell you to stop judging other people’s outsides and making value judgments on their insides. Depression doesn't care but you should!

When I found out I was pregnant, I reluctantly made the choice to stay clean. I doubted my decision (both to have this baby and to stay sober) the entire pregnancy and was unsure of how I would feel or what I would do when my child was born. Everyone around me was unsure, too. My parents discussed contingency plans with my son’s father for when — not if — I relapsed. But I didn't.

As the mother of a 12-year-old boy, I knew this day would come. And it came sooner than I thought it would. My kid said, "I hate you" to me.

All of this potential socializing got me thinking about the most challenging types of people I’ve encountered at parties (on a regular basis, sadly). Think of this is as my personal PSA, because you don’t want to be that guy/gal.

I need help getting closure. What was it about me that wasn't enough for her? I don’t know if I didn’t give enough or if I did something wrong at some point...

Q. I’m 39 years old, female, and I have no idea how my life turned into such a soap opera.

She’s made all the mistakes, so you don’t have to… Ask Erin is a weekly advice column, in which Erin answers your burning questions about anything at all.

Q.

Hi Erin,

So this one's a little complicated, and I’m not really sure how to explain it without it sounding insane.

My partner and I have been together on and off since we were teenagers, which is now well over half a decade. I love him, and I think that where we are now, I’m probably going to end up with him permanently. This terrifies me.

My boyfriend and I have been together for four years. We have a pretty good relationship, rarely fight, and I love him. However, he has no ambition and it’s really starting to bother me.

She’s made all the mistakes, so you don’t have to… Ask Erin is a weekly advice column, in which Erin answers your burning questions about anything at all.

My best friend is married and her and her husband are moving into a new house. Now here’s the thing: My best friend wants me to move in with them, and so does her husband, to help with expenses and because they know I want to get out of my living situation.