Erin Wisti

Erin Wisti

Bio

Erin Wisti is a freelance writer and cat enthusiast who lives in Los Angeles. When she was three, she wanted to be a potbelly pig when she grew up, but after learning that was impossible she decided to write. Her essays have appeared in The Toast, Fanzine, Role Reboot, Ampersand Review, and other places. She grew up in very rural Michigan (John Oliver once did stand up in her hometown and was very, very confused) and got her MFA in nonfiction from Columbia College Chicago in 2014. In her free time, Erin reads a lot and makes baked good using her own recipes. Read her blog, The Tell-Tale Tart, for recipes and book recommendations.     

Erin Wisti Articles

While my post-OkCupid elation was temporary, I still value it.

Dating While (Semi) Damaged: OkCupid And Self-Esteem

Online dating is a form of personal marketing, which is why so many find it inorganic and unromantic. But self-promotion forces you to ponder certain questions. Why would anyone want to date you? What do you bring to a relationship? After the abuse, answering such questions was healing. It’s similar to the glimmer of hope you feel writing a cover letter, even in the depths of unemployment, as the task forces you to play up your best qualities. You have to reflect on your self-worth. It is required.

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Not everyone is gonna fit in a zen box. (Image Credit: Thinkstock)

You Are Not Forgiven

Forgiveness is a virtue exalted in our culture, but I do not fit into any Zen portrait of clemency. I do not think fitting into said portrait should be a prerequisite for healing. The benefits of forgiveness are questionable. Forgiving one’s partner for indiscretions does not necessarily improve relationships.

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I never realized that helping someone flip that internal switch may not lead to self-improvement.

Dating While (Semi) Damaged: Stop Trying To Change People

Dating While (Semi) Damaged is a column about returning to the dating world after an abusive relationship, offering insight and occasional advice.

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Abuse survivors should not have to charm their way to empathy.

Dating While (Semi) Damaged: On Being An Imperfect Victim

A low opinion of my character should not translate to assuming I would lie about abuse, or that I somehow deserved abuse.

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Texts that once made me giddy would slowly come to paralyze me with fear.

Dating While (Semi) Damaged: On Ghosting 

Dating While (Semi) Damaged is a column about returning to the dating world after an abusive relationship, offering insight and occasional advice.

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Photo courtesy of the author.

Dating While (Semi) Damaged: On Lessons Learned

Dating While (Semi) Damaged is a column about returning to the dating world after an abusive relationship, offering insight and occasional adv

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My solution is no longer to attempt to detangle myself from negative thinking. Instead, I acknowledge my thoughts and then release them.

Dating While (Semi) Damaged: Coping With Bad Thoughts

Dating While (Semi) Damaged is a column about returning to the dating world after an abusive relationship, offering insight and occasional advice.

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