Gemma Hartley

Gemma Hartley

Bio

Gemma Hartley is a freelance writer with a BA in writing from The University of Nevada, Reno. She is author of FED UP: Emotional Labor, Women and The Way Forward. She lives in Reno with her husband, three young kids, an awesome dog, and a terrible cat.

Gemma Hartley Articles

Peter Cvjetanovic

UNR President's Response To Nazi Student Is Exactly The Kind Of White Nonsense We Don't Need

There is a time to be prudent and fair to “many sides” of an issue, but dealing with Nazis is not that time.

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Of COURSE I give her Vitamin D drops...

I'm The Mom Who Lies To The Pediatrician

I spent the better part of two years a frazzled mess over things that ultimately didn’t matter. My child was still growing up perfectly normal, even when he didn’t follow the straight and narrow path set forth by his pediatrician. I was driving myself over the edge for nothing.

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She likes princesses, but she is not defined by them. Image: Gemma Hartley.

Can We Please Stop Hating On Princesses?

Feminism should empower all girls — not just those who buck the system. Do I have my preference for what I would like her to do? Yes, but what I envision for her isn’t as important as what brings her joy and helps her find fulfillment.

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I’m here to fight the patriarchy too.

My Traditional Lifestyle Doesn't Make Me Less Of A Feminist

When I was a teenager, I felt very certain that I was not a feminist. I didn’t exactly understand the textbook definition of feminism, but I had a pretty good sense from the negative connotation I had gleaned while growing up in a narrowly Christian setting.

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Photo by Boxed Water Is Better on Unsplash

This Mother's Day Let's Stop Treating Emotional Labor Like Extra-Credit Work For Men 

...[M]en get a lot of praise for the “extra-credit work” they do in regards to domestic labor (the actual house cleaning and keeping work) and emotional labor (the invisible work that ensures the rest gets done) no matter what day of the year.

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Sometimes, just mothering is not enough. (Image Credit: Think Stock)

Why Being A 'Working Mom' Works For Me

When I made the decision to become a stay-at-home mother, the choice was an easy one.

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Being a Supermom isn't worth losing a spouse (Image Credit: Thinkstock)

I Gave Up Being A Supermom To Be A Better Wife

When my son was a baby, I used my husband as a second set of hands. He was my co-parent, the other caretaker... I was no longer viewing him as my partner, but rather as an aide to attaining the next level of mothering. Even though my husband never called me out on my behavior, I slowly but surely hung up my need for perfection. Because if being a great mother means being a crappy wife, I don't want any part of it.

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Example A: So while I would love to help bring my unique voice to your publication, unless you decide to start paying in actual real-world money, I will have to instead offer you a sincere f*ck no.

How To Craft A Tactful 'F*ck No'

You are a professional. You want to handle your business with a certain air of sophistication. You want to tell them "f*ck no," but want to do so graciously, tactfully — you are, after all, a wordsmith.

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How do you make the leap to ask out a potential friend? (Image: Unsplash/ Eli DeFaria)

5 Tips For Making Grown-Up Friends 

Making friends as a grown woman is hard. I figured out a few tips on how to set up successful one-on-one friend dates, as well as how to handle the territory of a budding platonic relationship with another woman.

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Bad behavior is not "being" bad (Image Credit: Think Stock)

The ONE Thing We Need To Stop Saying To Our Kids

There is a chasm separating "bad behavior" from "being bad." Our kids have to learn from us that their one-time actions do not permanently define them.

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