Gemma Hartley

Gemma Hartley

Bio

Gemma Hartley is a freelance writer with a BA in writing from The University of Nevada, Reno. She is author of FED UP: Emotional Labor, Women and The Way Forward. She lives in Reno with her husband, three young kids, an awesome dog, and a terrible cat.

Gemma Hartley Articles

Our kids define so much of our existence — shouldn't we at least take a break when we get a chance and talk about something other than them? Image: Thinkstock.

Can We Please Stop Talking About Our Kids?

I don't want motherhood to be where my life begins and ends. Sure, we can still talk about our kids, commiserate, and share in one another's parenting accomplishments — but at some point, we need to be more than mere storytellers of our children's lives.

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In a few weeks, I'll be sending my second kid off to school full-time. It's a moment I know I should feel sad about, and believe me, sometimes I do, but mostly I feel guilty because I don't.

I Feel Guilty About Sending My Kids To School

Back when I had my first child, back when he was still a baby, I imagined us moving to the mountains. I was thinking about having three more kids, living off the grid, and soaking up every last bit of their wild childhood. It was a fantasy, through and through.

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Being a Supermom isn't worth losing a spouse (Image Credit: Thinkstock)

I Gave Up Being A Supermom To Be A Better Wife

When my son was a baby, I used my husband as a second set of hands. He was my co-parent, the other caretaker... I was no longer viewing him as my partner, but rather as an aide to attaining the next level of mothering. Even though my husband never called me out on my behavior, I slowly but surely hung up my need for perfection. Because if being a great mother means being a crappy wife, I don't want any part of it.

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Not giving in to the stereotype of "hysterical liberal" is a slap back at online trolls looking for a reaction.

Why I'm Choosing To Fight Fascism With Facts

Like many progressives, the early days of Trump's presidency have left me angry, exhausted, and fighting with strangers on Facebook.

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Being skinny or fat or anything in between doesn’t determine whether or not someone should be happy. Image: Thinkstock.

Please Don't Call My Son 'Skinny'

We are often so focused on what we say to girls, that we forget the impact our words have on our boys. One flippant mention of my son’s “skinny” figure has turned into a source of unnecessary turmoil for him, and has lead to this difficult but important conversation about body image.

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Little ones are... A LOT of work. (Image Credit: Thinkstock)

Maybe I WON'T Miss These Years When They're Older

Despite endless exhortations to "enjoy every second," the reality of three toddlers is not always a Disney postcard. And it's okay for some moms to admit that they look forward to having a little less mess, a little more serenity.

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Raise a glass to Friendsgiving - feasting without any sides of controversy or conspiracy theorizing.

6 Reasons Friendsgiving Beats Real Thanksgiving Every Damn Time

Raise a glass to Friendsgiving - feasting without any sides of controversy or conspiracy theorizing. Friendsgiving is the best of all feasts.

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How do you make the leap to ask out a potential friend? (Image: Unsplash/ Eli DeFaria)

5 Tips For Making Grown-Up Friends 

Making friends as a grown woman is hard. I figured out a few tips on how to set up successful one-on-one friend dates, as well as how to handle the territory of a budding platonic relationship with another woman.

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Envy goes both ways, and that can be frustrating — especially when all we really want when we state our jealousy is a little bit of sympathy. Image: Thinkstock.

Why My Husband's Jealousy Is Good For Our Relationship

While the trials of caring for three small kids make it easy for jealousy to bloom, what makes stay-at-home life even harder is the lack of empathy and understanding I get for this 24/7 job. I have spent a frustrating amount of time trying to “prove my worth” to my husband.

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"I had to accept that this journey was entirely different than anything that had come before."

What Happens When You Get Pregnant After Postpartum Depression

Getting pregnant after postpartum depression may have stolen a lot from me, but it gave me a lot more.

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