Gemma Hartley

Gemma Hartley

Bio

Gemma Hartley is a freelance writer with a BA in writing from The University of Nevada, Reno. She is author of FED UP: Emotional Labor, Women and The Way Forward. She lives in Reno with her husband, three young kids, an awesome dog, and a terrible cat.

Gemma Hartley Articles

Echo chambers of agreement aren't the real world.

The Danger Of Unfriending Your Racist Aunt

I hate some of the things I see my friends and family post on Facebook.

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When does being a grown-up happen again?

10 Things I Thought I'd Know How To Do By Now

To be honest, I consider myself pretty damn good at adulting. I’m a great cook, as long as I have a recipe. I’m a self-taught professional baker.

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image credit: Gemma Hartley

"Leave Room For Jesus:" Does Purity Culture Devalue Girls?

At Santa Rosa Christian School, dancing was a gateway drug. The gyrating, the slow romantic swaying...

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Raise a glass to Friendsgiving - feasting without any sides of controversy or conspiracy theorizing.

6 Reasons Friendsgiving Beats Real Thanksgiving Every Damn Time

Raise a glass to Friendsgiving - feasting without any sides of controversy or conspiracy theorizing. Friendsgiving is the best of all feasts.

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Envy goes both ways, and that can be frustrating — especially when all we really want when we state our jealousy is a little bit of sympathy. Image: Thinkstock.

Why My Husband's Jealousy Is Good For Our Relationship

While the trials of caring for three small kids make it easy for jealousy to bloom, what makes stay-at-home life even harder is the lack of empathy and understanding I get for this 24/7 job. I have spent a frustrating amount of time trying to “prove my worth” to my husband.

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image credit: Joni Edelman

I Don't Want My Daughter To Be A "Bad Eater"

I wonder because I think I'm making the same mistakes with my daughter. She hardly eats. She's very picky. I feel like food is a constant struggle between us. I also feel like it's all my fault.

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The occasional drink helped keep my stress levels low — and ultimately it contributed to a healthier pregnancy for me. Image: WeHeartIt.

Why I Drank While I Was Pregnant

I went on to drink a small glass of wine or two per week throughout my pregnancy once I got over the initial shock of it being unplanned. Once I had adjusted to the fact that I was going to bring another baby into the world, I was still overwhelmed by the stress it brought on. I had suffered from postpartum depression after the birth of my son and we had decided not to have any more children. I didn't want the risks or the horrible anxiety that came with pregnancy. Yet here I was, facing all that uncertainty again. Damn right I needed a drink.

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The point is, if you feel like you're sucking at the back-to-school transition, take heart. I am out here doing way way worse.

It's Only The 2nd Week Of School & I'm Already Falling Apart

Clearly, it does not take long for my over-ambition to turn me from a vision of perfection into a train wreck you can't look away from. Behold, my first week of school splendor, versus my second week of school ineptitude.

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Photo by Boxed Water Is Better on Unsplash

This Mother's Day Let's Stop Treating Emotional Labor Like Extra-Credit Work For Men 

...[M]en get a lot of praise for the “extra-credit work” they do in regards to domestic labor (the actual house cleaning and keeping work) and emotional labor (the invisible work that ensures the rest gets done) no matter what day of the year.

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Our kids define so much of our existence — shouldn't we at least take a break when we get a chance and talk about something other than them? Image: Thinkstock.

Can We Please Stop Talking About Our Kids?

I don't want motherhood to be where my life begins and ends. Sure, we can still talk about our kids, commiserate, and share in one another's parenting accomplishments — but at some point, we need to be more than mere storytellers of our children's lives.

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