Joni Edelman

I'll never forget the day I discovered the name for my mental illness.

We've got Trump, Vladimir, Comey, and all the other players lined up for you. Here are the facts, followed by our IRL translation, to make sure you know that you know all abouts that latest (and possibly tenure-ending) Trump scandal.

Suffering is America’s favorite thing to do. We starve ourselves to lose weight, and we’re a success story. We don’t sleep, and we’re just getting SO MUCH DONE. We do a thousand things a day and involve our kids in a thousand activities, because somehow, in some perverted way, that makes us successful.

As long as I can remember having paid attention to the media, I can remember a woman's weight—or body in general—being a news story.

...I’m going to help you! By “help” I mean “tell you all the things that didn’t work.”

They will 

Let's get to it—a primer on The Sex.

I didn't get a lot of mothering as a child, but when I did, it was from her. She taught me how to sew, how to crochet. She taught me how to stand up for myself, to be tough. She taught me how to make fried chicken and fried okra, which I will never make, because it's fucking gross.

You can work your butt off and still be left with a tummy. Bummer.

I said (on TV, to Rachael Ray, so there are a few million witnesses): If you want a bikini body, put a bikini on your body.