Joni Edelman

Actually, no, I'm not a gluttonous moron.

All boobs are good boobs. And all areola too!

You know what’s an epidemic? Making people feel second rate and ashamed, criminalizing them for something like having an obese pregnancy.

It doesn’t get any more difficult to insult ourselves, regardless of how old we are. It would be ideal if it got easier to respect ourselves, but it generally doesn’t do that either. Every year you age, and every year the aging you looks at the you of the years before and thinks, I can’t believe I thought I was fat/ugly/etc.

Misogyny is pervasive. And my three boys are living it all.

The Cabbage Soup Diet, aka The "Torture” Diet. You just put cabbage in water and cook it. And you eat it. All day. It is not good. You will still be hungry, and farting — very smelly, paint-peeling farting.

Help. Me. Please. And by help me, I mean, bring me my jumbo size jar of

“I don’t even know what to say, Joni. Your baby isn’t alive.”

When you push a small human out of your body, things tend to get a little weird.

Oh hey remember that time in 1804 when Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton had an actual duel, with actual guns and Burr shot Hamilton and Hamilton did not shoot Burr. And then the next day Hamilton died.