Joni Edelman

Let's get to it—a primer on The Sex.

My husband and I recently traveled together without our kids for the first time . . . in a while. And it was a brand-new ball game.

Oh hey remember that time in 1804 when Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton had an actual duel, with actual guns and Burr shot Hamilton and Hamilton did not shoot Burr. And then the next day Hamilton died.

Having kids doesn't have to mean the death of your sex life.

You can work your butt off and still be left with a tummy. Bummer.

If you're brave enough to take the DIY Brazilian plunge, these tips are a must-read. As in, tip #6: It hurts, but not more than having a baby. Good to know.

4. A high school government class.

Silly me, I thought the darn thing took care of itself. Little did I know I was sorely mistaken and had a vagina complex.

Suffering is America’s favorite thing to do. We starve ourselves to lose weight, and we’re a success story. We don’t sleep, and we’re just getting SO MUCH DONE. We do a thousand things a day and involve our kids in a thousand activities, because somehow, in some perverted way, that makes us successful.

Our relationship has been a little complicated. I've loved you a lot, and I've loathed you at least that much, but mostly you've just gone unnoticed. Except for those 5 to 7 days every four weeks when you made your presence quite evident, what with the river of life blood and the random excruciating, and from what I can tell, unnecessary, contractions.