Joni Edelman

It's always so good to know the folks doing the work you're doing.

When it comes to your physique, your mind can actually work against you.

Our relationship has been a little complicated. I've loved you a lot, and I've loathed you at least that much, but mostly you've just gone unnoticed. Except for those 5 to 7 days every four weeks when you made your presence quite evident, what with the river of life blood and the random excruciating, and from what I can tell, unnecessary, contractions.

Attention Civilians: Colonel David Iverson does not want to see your boobs.

So you fed your baby some formula instead of breast milk. His future is not shot. Really. It's not—and The Guilt serves no one.

Good news: they'll probably grow out of it. Bad news: probably not until they are 23.

I said (on TV, to Rachael Ray, so there are a few million witnesses): If you want a bikini body, put a bikini on your body.

I'll never forget the day I discovered the name for my mental illness.

My cocktail is wrong. It’s a gin and tonic with only gin. It’s a martini with 10 olives. And I can’t stand the sun. Not today. Not this month.

You can work your butt off and still be left with a tummy. Bummer.