Joni Edelman

All boobs are good boobs. And all areola too!

The Cabbage Soup Diet, aka The "Torture” Diet. You just put cabbage in water and cook it. And you eat it. All day. It is not good. You will still be hungry, and farting — very smelly, paint-peeling farting.

Being vulnerable, being seen (even lumpy and naked), admitting weakness, asking for help — these acts inspire and edify.

My husband and I recently traveled together without our kids for the first time . . . in a while. And it was a brand-new ball game.

Good god, where will I ever find someone who will love me in such a pitiful condition?

I was told that feminism is man hate. That abortion is murder. And then I thought, "What am I doing here?"

...I’m going to help you! By “help” I mean “tell you all the things that didn’t work.”

Good news: they'll probably grow out of it. Bad news: probably not until they are 23.

The FDA has approved a new drug for banishing double chins . . . it's ACID.

[CN: suicide, overdose] Gratitude stops me from ending my life, but it doesn’t stop me from wanting to end my life. Even the fierce love I have for my family doesn’t mean I don’t feel utterly hopeless sometimes.