Joni Edelman

Silly me, I thought the darn thing took care of itself. Little did I know I was sorely mistaken and had a vagina complex.

Here’s something that isn’t rocket science either, Stephen Hawking: Diets don’t work.

"Food isn't the enemy –– calling it the enemy is the enemy."

It doesn’t get any more difficult to insult ourselves, regardless of how old we are. It would be ideal if it got easier to respect ourselves, but it generally doesn’t do that either. Every year you age, and every year the aging you looks at the you of the years before and thinks, I can’t believe I thought I was fat/ugly/etc.

Good god, where will I ever find someone who will love me in such a pitiful condition?

The Cabbage Soup Diet, aka The "Torture” Diet. You just put cabbage in water and cook it. And you eat it. All day. It is not good. You will still be hungry, and farting — very smelly, paint-peeling farting.

When I was little, any time I got an insect bite or stubbed my toe, I had to ask my mom, “Am I going to die? If I was going to die from this, I’d already be dead — right?” I also had a 30-minute prayer that I needed to say at each meal or else everyone would be poisoned and die. And corners. I had to check all of them before I went to bed.

Good news: they'll probably grow out of it. Bad news: probably not until they are 23.

This is an article about a real product that exists, that was designed to deliver an electric shock, to YOUR BODY, to stop you from eati

Compassion for myself is not a thing I do. It is not a thing I have ever done. It is not a thing I feel comfortable doing. It's time I stop for compassion.