Melissa Petro

Sure, "friends forever" sounds nice. In theory. But sometimes it's better that two people just not be friends.

You may have heard the old joke that 98% of people masturbate, and the other two percent are lying.

Sometimes the fights I pick with my fiancé are really fights with myself.

A couple months before our official engagement, Arran and I had an uncomfortable conversation about getting married. Specifically, my dear boyfriend of two years chose a quiet brunch on one unassuming Sunday to bring up the fact that he was reluctant to propose.

Drunk or not, it’s a fact that white people are more prone to acting like assholes to authority figures—because we’re more likely to get away with it.

It's pretty well understood in 12 step programs that "who you see here and what you say here, stays here."

We’ve all been in a situation where we've thought NO ONE CAN EVER KNOW THAT THIS HAPPENED TO ME.

If you missed my weekly column this summer all about getting engaged and planning a wedding, here’s the highlight reel: after doing

Mark prayed to Saint Francis, a patron saint of drunks and (according to Mark) lost causes. Mark wasn’t religious, but he wore a St. Francis amulet around his neck, a gift from his father. Nights when he didn’t come home, I prayed to St. Francis, too.

The quickest way to reveal yourself as a douchenozzle — not to mention unoriginal — is to remind someone who’s about to get married that most marriages end in divorce. The second-quickest way to offend is tell us what our wedding has to be like or whom we need to invite.