Winona Dimeo-Ediger

These things could never happen. But WHAT IF THEY DID?

The side effects of weight loss are not—gasp!—all positive.

All the skimpy clothes that come along with this time of year give me anxiety.

There’s that moment when you’re waiting in line for a buffet when you get a whiff of something funky, and one of your friends is like, “Is that vomit?” and another one is like, “Is it coming from that plant?” and you all shudder, plug your noses, and forget about it 20 minutes later because dude, all you can eat crab!

Basically, if you took a map of the world and put red pushpins wherever something terrible was happening, you’d find a millennial directly in the center, snapchatting.

Justin: I know you know that I made those mistakes maybe once or twice. Me: Once or twice? Really, Justin? Justin: And by once or twice I mean maybe a couple a hundred times. Me: Right. Now we’re on the same page.

"Cute dress!" "This? I literally found it in a dumpster behind Baja Fresh."

At any given moment 43% of Portland residents are chained to something in protest. The other 57% are already in jail for chaining themselves to other things.

According to a retired Catholic bishop in Nebraska (always a good source of thoughtful, practical life tips), practicing yoga is not just a great way to relieve stress, find contentment, build strength, and make friends — it’s also “an occasion of serious sin.”

Remember this one time in savasana that the teacher had us visualize all the negative energy in our lives being squeezed out the soles of our feet like a bad vibes garlic press. Imagine my boss’ words as a brown ooze squeezing out of my feet. Imagery is gross but deeply comforting.