Winona Dimeo-Ediger

Here are ten things I’ve been really, truly, actually nostalgic for lately, amidst the wild, terrifying ride that is 2017.

Here's what I want to ask the guy who used this airplane bathroom right before me:

1. Dude, seriously?

But my God, have you read a celebrity gossip rag recently? They make Vogue and InStyle seem like forward-thinking beacons of body positivity and intersectional feminism.

The Real Househusbands of Beverly Hills: See how the stay-at-home husbands of the most powerful women in Beverly Hills truly live! Watch these “men of leisure” shop, do brunch, plan opulent parties, and get in fistfights over insinuations that their lush heads of hair aren’t exactly all-natural. Scandalous!

"I’ve been on three rollercoasters in my life. I hated every second of all of them."

"These days, I don’t shop at the mall very often, but every once in a while when I find myself at a mall — any — I’m overcome by a wave of nostalgia for my salad days (although perhaps “Sbarro calzone days” would be a more fitting expression here). In many ways, I grew up in these chain stores and pretzel kiosks. And sometimes I feel compelled to write melodramatic poetry about it."

You, dear senators, have been busy trying to bring about the apocalypse, which doesn’t leave a lot of time for self-care.

This year, don’t wait until April 14th to log onto TurboTax or drop off a crumpled pile of pay stubs at H&R Block. Think outside the box for a tax filing experience that’s truly enjoyable.

Dear bikini manufacturers: Not all short, curvy women want to channel their inner Marilyn Monroe.

At any given moment 43% of Portland residents are chained to something in protest. The other 57% are already in jail for chaining themselves to other things.