Winona Dimeo-Ediger

Welcome to the Proud Coven of Secondhand Shoppers, my dear! I’m sorry your entry into our well-dressed, eco-friendly, budget-abiding coven wasn’t a happy or voluntary one, but now that you’re here, let me assure you that thrifting is not scary or gross, and in fact can be super-fun.

Guys, let's review some of the reasons that woman you've never met might not feel like chatting, shall we?

I’d been so busy patting myself on the back for conquering my big fears, I failed to acknowledge that the types of things that scare me had shifted. A lot of the obvious stuff didn’t bother me anymore — but what about all the smaller, more personal things that still scared the living shit out of me?

Here's what I want to ask the guy who used this airplane bathroom right before me:

1. Dude, seriously?

When I felt a familiar wave of insecurity creeping up and threatening to mute my movements, I looked to you for inspiration, and I danced even bigger.

I regularly call upon personal saints for help. Really specific ones whose sainthood only exists in my own mind, but they’re very effective. Today I’d like to introduce you to a few of them; feel free to call on them as often as needed.

Target’s lack of gender signage is obviously a sinful, confusing disaster. You should definitely never shop there again. But just in case you ever need to buy a gift for your kid and Wal-Mart is closed, here are some tips for how to navigate the Godless dystopia that is the new unlabeled toy section of Target:

When you’re shopping for shoes for a fancy event, it’s easy to assume that a super high heel is required for a shoe to feel dressed up enough, but that’s not necessarily the case. I’m happy to report that “sensible shoes” and “cute shoes” are not mutually exclusive terms.

You’re washing dishes or sorting laundry or grocery shopping, half-listening to a random Pandora station when it happens: Your favorite song from 7th grade starts playing.

Stage one: annoyance. Stage five: obsession!