Winona Dimeo-Ediger

The side effects of weight loss are not—gasp!—all positive.

If you’re at an amazing restaurant, eat the amazing food there! Enjoy it! Don’t limit yourself to one bite of expensive entree because you frantically forced down a pound of undressed salad before the bread basket showed up. Eat salad for its own sake. Eat it because you want to eat it, not because you’re trying NOT to eat something else.

Dear Winona,

There’s that moment when you’re waiting in line for a buffet when you get a whiff of something funky, and one of your friends is like, “Is that vomit?” and another one is like, “Is it coming from that plant?” and you all shudder, plug your noses, and forget about it 20 minutes later because dude, all you can eat crab!

5. You start feeling insecure about the distinct lack of rappers in your social circle.

Pinterest: “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.”
Me: Wait, so maybe I should carry an umbrella, in case it rains and I want to dance?

Will you ever find a chair you like? Are there any good chairs left in this world? Why are so many people in your neighborhood attempting to sell “lightly used” sex chairs? What is a sex chair?

The Real Househusbands of Beverly Hills: See how the stay-at-home husbands of the most powerful women in Beverly Hills truly live! Watch these “men of leisure” shop, do brunch, plan opulent parties, and get in fistfights over insinuations that their lush heads of hair aren’t exactly all-natural. Scandalous!

I ask myself these questions every time I’m considering a purchase, and if the answer to any of them is “no,” I put it back on the rack.

If you don’t have a pair of pixie pants, girl, you need to get a pair of pixie pants.