Winona Dimeo-Ediger

At any given moment 43% of Portland residents are chained to something in protest. The other 57% are already in jail for chaining themselves to other things.

It’s the year of bountiful belly! If you have a flat belly (sigh, it’s something many of us struggle with), consider doing a pizza cleanse.

5. Treat fan recruitment like a multi-level marketing scheme. Doctor Who fandom is like Mary Kay in that whoever you recruit into the fandom becomes your team, and whoever they recruit, and so on and so forth.

When you’re helping people zip up dresses and watching their reactions to certain items of clothing, you start noticing patterns. Here are four of the phrases I hear most often in the dressing room, and how I wish — oh, how I wish! — I could respond.

In this era of constant self-examination, introspection, and Buzzfeed quizzes, this fact certainly brings up an important question. Which version of the song are you: original or (Extra Festive)?! Wonder no more, my friend. Take this handy quiz to find out!

Please feel free to join me in sending these GOP leaders a stack of postcard versions of their hypocritical Tweets. Join the resistance, #RavsResistance.

Here's what I want to ask the guy who used this airplane bathroom right before me:

1. Dude, seriously?

1. Only eat salad and grilled chicken. Salad and grilled chicken, as a general rule, don’t ruin lives. Salad and grilled chicken are great... sometimes. Unless you’re going to amazing restaurants all the time and ordering nothing but salad and grilled chicken — then salad is definitely ruining your life.

Dear Winona,

"These days, I don’t shop at the mall very often, but every once in a while when I find myself at a mall — any — I’m overcome by a wave of nostalgia for my salad days (although perhaps “Sbarro calzone days” would be a more fitting expression here). In many ways, I grew up in these chain stores and pretzel kiosks. And sometimes I feel compelled to write melodramatic poetry about it."