Winona Dimeo-Ediger

"These days, I don’t shop at the mall very often, but every once in a while when I find myself at a mall — any — I’m overcome by a wave of nostalgia for my salad days (although perhaps “Sbarro calzone days” would be a more fitting expression here). In many ways, I grew up in these chain stores and pretzel kiosks. And sometimes I feel compelled to write melodramatic poetry about it."

"Cute dress!" "This? I literally found it in a dumpster behind Baja Fresh."

Target’s lack of gender signage is obviously a sinful, confusing disaster. You should definitely never shop there again. But just in case you ever need to buy a gift for your kid and Wal-Mart is closed, here are some tips for how to navigate the Godless dystopia that is the new unlabeled toy section of Target:

In this era of constant self-examination, introspection, and Buzzfeed quizzes, this fact certainly brings up an important question. Which version of the song are you: original or (Extra Festive)?! Wonder no more, my friend. Take this handy quiz to find out!

Ever had an imagined conversation with optimism? Yeah, me too.

You’re washing dishes or sorting laundry or grocery shopping, half-listening to a random Pandora station when it happens: Your favorite song from 7th grade starts playing.

I’d been so busy patting myself on the back for conquering my big fears, I failed to acknowledge that the types of things that scare me had shifted. A lot of the obvious stuff didn’t bother me anymore — but what about all the smaller, more personal things that still scared the living shit out of me?

As much as I love the holidays, there are a lot of chores and errands this time of year requires that are, let’s say, less than fun.

Welcome to the Proud Coven of Secondhand Shoppers, my dear! I’m sorry your entry into our well-dressed, eco-friendly, budget-abiding coven wasn’t a happy or voluntary one, but now that you’re here, let me assure you that thrifting is not scary or gross, and in fact can be super-fun.

Sarah Von Bargen believes yes is more fun than no.