Winona Dimeo-Ediger

Dear Winona,

I regularly call upon personal saints for help. Really specific ones whose sainthood only exists in my own mind, but they’re very effective. Today I’d like to introduce you to a few of them; feel free to call on them as often as needed.

Dear Winona,

If you give a White girl a pumpkin spice latte, she’s going to ask for a gluten-free vegan apple spice muffin.

Toss back half a bottle of merlot while watching “Daredevil.” Pause it for a pee break. Glance in bathroom mirror, notice bangs are getting slightly unruly.

Here's what I want to ask the guy who used this airplane bathroom right before me:

1. Dude, seriously?

Unflattering work uniforms are the WORST. I understand that office dress codes and work uniforms serve a purpose (creating a unified image for staff, signaling your role to customers/guests, protect your personal clothing from workplace messes, blah blah blah) but why would a company feel the need to subject their employees to a boxy corduroy vest?

I grew up way out in the country, and lying in bed at night I used to gaze out my window and think, “Maybe someday I’ll live in a cool apartment in the city where I can walk to stuff.” That was literally my big dream of far-off adulthood.

As much as I love the holidays, there are a lot of chores and errands this time of year requires that are, let’s say, less than fun.

In this era of constant self-examination, introspection, and Buzzfeed quizzes, this fact certainly brings up an important question. Which version of the song are you: original or (Extra Festive)?! Wonder no more, my friend. Take this handy quiz to find out!