Winona Dimeo-Ediger

But my God, have you read a celebrity gossip rag recently? They make Vogue and InStyle seem like forward-thinking beacons of body positivity and intersectional feminism.

The side effects of weight loss are not—gasp!—all positive.

6. You would never DREAM of talking on your phone during a transaction, because you know from experience how uniquely dehumanizing and soul-crushing it is to try to engage with someone who is chatting idly with their sister and not making eye contact with you.

I ask myself these questions every time I’m considering a purchase, and if the answer to any of them is “no,” I put it back on the rack.

"But I'm your friend! I'm like your cool big sister that makes you feel insecure and unworthy 99% of the time!"

Dear Winona,

Guys, let's review some of the reasons that woman you've never met might not feel like chatting, shall we?

There’s that moment when you’re waiting in line for a buffet when you get a whiff of something funky, and one of your friends is like, “Is that vomit?” and another one is like, “Is it coming from that plant?” and you all shudder, plug your noses, and forget about it 20 minutes later because dude, all you can eat crab!

When it comes to hiring people, be sure to steer clear of anyone who has a customer service background and glowing recommendations. The last thing you want is a perky, friendly face to greet your customers. So predictable!

You might think that being on a budget means you can’t afford to dress like a super rich, fashion-forward celebrity, but girlfriend, you are wrong about that!