Winona Dimeo-Ediger

In this era of constant self-examination, introspection, and Buzzfeed quizzes, this fact certainly brings up an important question. Which version of the song are you: original or (Extra Festive)?! Wonder no more, my friend. Take this handy quiz to find out!

The other day I met up with my friend Paige at a coffee shop. She went to the bathroom, came back, and said, “So, the toilet paper roll was empty, and I almost didn’t put a new roll on, but then I thought, ‘Be the change you want to see in the world,’ and I changed it.” She beamed triumphantly, and I said, “Paige, you’re a hero.”

Ever had an imagined conversation with optimism? Yeah, me too.

Will you ever find a chair you like? Are there any good chairs left in this world? Why are so many people in your neighborhood attempting to sell “lightly used” sex chairs? What is a sex chair?

When it comes to hiring people, be sure to steer clear of anyone who has a customer service background and glowing recommendations. The last thing you want is a perky, friendly face to greet your customers. So predictable!

As we prepare to take to the streets to protest the inauguration of a racist, sexist, xenophobic demagogue, we need to LOOK GOOD doing it.

Seriously, I’m usually a “six sugars and a ton of cream” girl, but I drink Kao Jai black!

While buttoning my pants today I found to my dismay / that my skinny jeans get skinnier with every passing day. / For the past few months, in fact, I’ve watched with shock and wonder / as my stomach’s gotten softer and my thighs accrued more thunder.

Also worth considering: Beyonce on vacation, Prince George, your mom in the '70s.

Career-wise, you’re the boss, or, if you’re not the boss yet (emphasis on YET), you’re the boss’s dream, going above and beyond in every way. You tend to define yourself by your job title, and the thought of letting go of that identity gives you hives (this might be something you want to work on, Group A). Your desk is so beautifully organized it could be part of a MOMA exhibit called, “The Artful Workspace: A Retrospective.”