Winona Dimeo-Ediger

Guys, let's review some of the reasons that woman you've never met might not feel like chatting, shall we?

"But I'm your friend! I'm like your cool big sister that makes you feel insecure and unworthy 99% of the time!"

In this era of constant self-examination, introspection, and Buzzfeed quizzes, this fact certainly brings up an important question. Which version of the song are you: original or (Extra Festive)?! Wonder no more, my friend. Take this handy quiz to find out!

When it comes to hiring people, be sure to steer clear of anyone who has a customer service background and glowing recommendations. The last thing you want is a perky, friendly face to greet your customers. So predictable!

From personal insecurity to medical issues to office dress codes, summer months don’t always translate to open toe shoes. Here are a few summer shoe options that are stylish, comfortable, and seasonally appropriate, all without showing any toe.

At any given moment 43% of Portland residents are chained to something in protest. The other 57% are already in jail for chaining themselves to other things.

There is no law that says only certain body types are allowed to wear certain styles of clothing. Nothing terrible is going to happen to you if you opt for a pair of flare jeans that make your thighs look bigger or a maxi dress that visually shortens your already short frame. You will still be gorgeous and unique and worthy of love and respect.

Also worth considering: Beyonce on vacation, Prince George, your mom in the '70s.

Half the fun (or maybe more than half? Maybe all the fun, actually) of going to the gym is getting decked out in cute workout clothes.

6. You would never DREAM of talking on your phone during a transaction, because you know from experience how uniquely dehumanizing and soul-crushing it is to try to engage with someone who is chatting idly with their sister and not making eye contact with you.