Yoga Pants Are Not A Crime

To the dude who said women shouldn't wear yoga pants: Puh-lease.

To the dude who said women shouldn't wear yoga pants: Puh-lease.

Since the day that cavewomen first put on the fur pelt of a skinned cave-tiger, men - of the cave variety... and others - have felt empowered to weigh in on clothing choices. While our cave-dwelling foremothers had handy-dandy clubs around with which to thwack dissenting cave-critics over the head, we modern women need to find other means to express our derision.

The latest case of a dude with an opinion getting his due comes to us from Rhode Island. A gentleman by the name of Alan Sorrentino wrote to the Barrington Times to express his displeasure with yoga pants. Mr. Sorrentino feels that they are a crime against fashion, on par with miniskirts. He feels especially strongly that women over 20 should not don yoga pants because… well, because he’s a toolbox who thinks he gets a vote on what women should wear, and at what age certain apparel is permitted, or not. 

The good people of Barrington did not take kindly to the would-be Fashion Police officer in their midst, so they did what any self-respecting group of yoga-pants lovers would do: they pulled on their stretchy trousers and marched to Mr. Sorrentino’s house with signs saying things like “We Wear What We Want."

Over 300 people showed up on Mr. Sorrentino’s lawn this weekend. In addition to the march being an epic clap-back at a dude who really needed it, the event turned charitable when an executive at clothing maker Dear Kate donated 100 pairs of yoga pants to the Sojourner Home, a local shelter for women.

Mr. Sorrentino, for his part, is now defending the letter, saying it was meant as parody, something to highlight the absurd things people get worked up about these days.

I don’t know much about humor writing, but I do know that if you have to stage a full-out counter-offensive to explain the joke, it wasn’t funny.

I think we can all hope that this puts to rest forever the controversy about wearing comfortable pants in public. The answer is - or should be - wear what you want, yo. And don’t talk about what other people wear unless you want them to show up at your house to tell you why you should have just shut up.

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