Comfyballs Fights For The Sanctity Of "Balls"

In the dawn of #FreeTheNipple and general Kim Kardashian shenanigans, the public has been questioning the possible "vulgarity" of female body parts. Are we offended by lady nips? Enticed? Or, just, you know, "meh"? Over yonder in ManLand, dudes are facing their own battle—over the word balls.

Let the confusion begin. 

Norwegian boxer-brief company Comfyballs is currently at odds with the United States Patent Office (USPO). Comfyballs has a trademarked design to its wear (we'll get to that in a minute), and wishes to patent their boxer-briefs. According to the USPO, though, the use of "balls" in a patent's name is "immoral" and "scandalous" thus the patent's been rejected.

Like the great Spartan warriors, however, Comfyballs isn't going down without a fight! (THIS.IS.COMFYBALLS!) Currently, Comfyballs is running a poll to determine if the general public finds the word "balls" vulgar. Given that the (probable) majority of pollsters are Comfyballs fans, it should come as no surprise that the overwhelming majority do not find "Comfyballs" offensive. 

Now, let's talk product. Comfyballs' whole aim in awesomeness is to alleviate some of the discomfort downstairs. According to their site, Comfyballs reduces genital heat, lifts the testicles away from the thighs, and utilizes a nice blend of breathable fabrics to keep athletic (or just plain sweaty) types comfortable. So "Comfyballs" really does seem like the perfect name. 

Is it likely that the USPO will concede? Unfortunately, no.

Let this be another lesson in the devastating reach of our Puritanical ancestors' roots. 

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