Occasion: You are invited to your friend's wedding. YAY! WEDDINGS! You want to go. But then you can't. Bummer.
No big deal. Right?
WRONG. This very thing happened recently.
The cause of the absense? A common parenting problem that we have all experienced: you plan for a babysitter well in advance, you have our outfit ready and pizza ordered for the kids — the babysitter bails.
Mom was supposed to watch their kids, called at the last minute, said she couldn't make it.
This means you either A. aren’t going to the wedding, or B. are taking the kids with you.
Invitation said no children.
Well, that’s that for attending the wedding. Looks like they will just have to congratulate the newlyweds when they get back from their honeymoon! Except, the newlyweds apparently wanted to get in touch with them sooner.
So, of course, the couple in question received a bill for the dinner they were supposed to have enjoyed.
Two herb crusted walleye plus a service and tax charge. Totall: $75.90.
A bill? Who sends a bill to their friend? This lady. But wait, there’s more!
The note read: "’This cost reflects the amount paid by the bride and groom for meals that were RSVP'd for, reimbursement and explanation for no show, card, call or text would be appreciated.”
A bill and a passive aggressive note. That is classy with a dollop of class, right there folks. Not only do they expect money reimbursement, but they also require an essay detailing the reason for the absence.
I think this friend is special.
And special friends get special responses from the friends they send a bill to:
1) Instead of an apology essay, send the receipt for donating the $75.90 to local charity.
“Attached is the receipt for charitywater.org. We felt the money could be used better to improve the quality of lives of people who are actually in need.”
2) A $75.90 gift card for FroYo.
“You need to chill out. This one’s on me!”
3) Send a framed photo of the puppy you just adopted from the local animal shelter.
“We spent the money on saving this puppy from death. Do you want puppies to die??”
4) A Kindle copy of “Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette”
A little late, but worth it.
Really want to piss her off?
Don’t respond. At all.
Or, you could just post your story on the evening news for everyone on Earth to comment on what a bastard your newly married friend is.
Passive aggressive behavior: Boss Level.