Carrie Saum

If you are like me, you weren't raised to tune into your body, mind, or spirit. Tuning in was something you did to television, or something you made fun of when your weird Aunt Susan told you how to breathe into your third chakra to release your blocked Chi from three lifetimes ago.

After combing through mommy groups, I landed on a question that made total sense to my helicopter parenting mom-brain: Does that feel safe in your body?

On a whim, I grabbed some feta cheese at the store and fresh parsley. Then a few sweet peppers, cucumbers, garlic, yogurt, dill and mint found their way into my cart, as well. What transpired was nothing short of an absolute inspiration.

So, what do you do when you make something that looks a mess but tastes like the Virgin Mary give birth in your mouth? You add more sugar and salt to hide its minor imperfections and nobody gives a damn how it looks after the first bite.

Charcuterie. Have you heard of it?

Stuffing things is the best. I mean it. Can you think of ONE THING that is stuffed that you hate?

I said it. The thing moms are never ever supposed to say. I NEED MORE.

We saw Hurricane Ike coming for days before it made landfall. It was just two short years post-hurricane Katrina, and all of south Texas and Louisiana were still reeling from her trauma. My husband and I began deliberating if we should stay or go. This is my story of surviving natural disasters.

Okay, so the world feels like it’s ending. I know it does because I have facebook and I read the news and I’m on this planet.

I now interrupt your frantic turkey preparations for the following announcement: 

EAT PIZZA, INSTEAD.