Kristi Pahr

Kristi Pahr

Bio

Kristi is a stay at home mom with two small boys and a very messy house. She and her family raise goats and pigs and she pretends to know something about homesteading. She went to college in the 90s and didn’t learn much, but she met her husband there, so it wasn’t a total waste of time. They were married a short time later and have spent the last 16 years trying to “settle down” and “be normal”. It’s been a huge and glorious mess. Follow her on Facebook and Twitter. Read her blog www.freespiritmama.com.

Kristi Pahr Articles

"Attachment parenting is an easy thing to get wrapped up in and it’s an easy thing to feel like you’ve failed at, primarily because there are defined and demanding benchmarks."

Attachment Parenting Wrecked Me

It is understood that to effectively and officially attachment parent your child, you need to hit all the markers, check all the boxes, and do it without dissolving into a crying mess on the floor when your baby won’t stop crying and you only slept for two hours and you have to go to the supermarket because you’re out of coffee, but you shouldn’t even be DRINKING coffee and you’re the worst mother in the world.

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 I hit a wall, and begged for an epidural. (Image: Thinkstock)

My VBAC Was Supposed To Be Magic; Nope, I Hated It

When I got pregnant for the third time, I was determined to have an unmedicated VBAC. I had big plans. This VBAC was going to be my birth experience salvation. It was going to be empowering and amazing and heal all my hangups. I was going to be a mama goddess and everything was going to be perfect. I was wrong.

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Teach your kids to celebrate differences.

White Parents: Teaching Our Kids To Be Colorblind Isn't The Answer

“Is she Black or white?” I asked another mom who was describing a little girl in her son’s class that she thought my family might know.

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Image Credit: Thinkstock

The Day My Son Punched Me In The Face

My parenting mantra is: "Do your best and hope he doesn't turn into a sociopath." And I guess that's really all we can do, because if we're honest with ourselves, I think none of us really know what we're doing.

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Building up one while breaking down the other is not the solution.

Is Empowering Girls Devaluing Our Boys?

As a mother of boys, I find this trend disturbing. Yes, we need to build up our girls. We need to empower them and teach them that they are capable and viable and powerful — that they are smart and that they matter. But we cannot devalue our boys in the process.

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The comments I get, you would not believe. (Image Credit: Kristi Pahr)

Life As A 39-Year-Old With Fully Gray Hair

I found my first gray hair when I was 12 years old. Twelve. I had gray hair before I had a period.

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No retail "therapy" here.

When Shopping For Clothes Is Traumatizing

I have to go shopping tomorrow and I’m dreading it.

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If a person meets a certain threshold, it’s considered a pathology called Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

How To Spot A Narcissist 

If a person meets a certain threshold, it’s considered a pathology called Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Here's how you can spot a narcissist.

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Too many victims, too much complicity.

True Stories Of Sexual Assault

These women are from all over the world. They are from different socioeconomic brackets. Their assaults took place during different times over the last 35 years. The victims are completely different, but the stories are all so similar. Victims of assault, rape, harassment, coming forward, being brave and telling the truth, and being stigmatized, ostracized, blamed, ignored, ridiculed. People they love, people they trust, people whose job it is to protect them, blaming them for their assault. It’s common. Almost expected. That women are assaulted, harassed by men, is a given in our culture. That women are blamed is standard procedure. Is it really any wonder that the majority of sexual assaults go unreported? Is it really shocking that a woman would want to save herself additional trauma?

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(Image Credit: Thinkstock)

Advanced Maternal Age AKA Holy Crap, I'm Tired

I feel like if I’d started earlier, had my first kid at 28 instead of 34, maybe I’d be a little less tired right now. Maybe I’d be a more fun mom if my knees didn’t sound like small arms fire every time I tried to run with my son. Maybe I’d be a better mom if I was younger. But I don’t think so. My kids? They’re awesome. And I’m the mom they have, so I must be doing something right, old or not.

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