Rebekah Kuschmider

Is Hillary Clinton going to jail for having email? The world — and last night’s debate moderators — want to know!

The short answer is: probably not.

Unless one of her emails contains a confession for actually killing Vince Foster. Which seems unlikely, since Hillary has a law degree from Yale and I think the first thing they teach you there is, “Don’t write incriminating shit down.”

The special counsel is former FBI director Robert Mueller. The same FBI director who, under President George W. Bush, threatened to quit rather than unconstitutionally wiretap U.S. citizens without a warrant. This is a by-the-book, law and order kind of guy. And his chief ally within the Department of Justice at that moment? James Comey.

Ah, the oh-so-common slippery slope idea. If same sex marriages are to be legal, why not other kinds of marriages? Why not polygamy or polyandry or marriage to animals or that lady who married a roller coaster?

A guy named Dave Johnson swears up and down that the Ramsey family staged the whole thing and then went on to live new lives as the Perry family. He cites Katy Perry’s eyebrows as proof. "You know, the eyebrows don't change much on a person," he claims. "You're born with your eyebrows.”

President Obama plans to visit a mosque in Baltimore, MD. He’s going there to speak about the problems associated with global anti-Islamic bigotry and to promote religious tolerance. He delivered a similar message about anti-Semitism at the Israeli embassy last week.

In other words, you can’t cut off a source of health care because you got all wee-wee’d up about a sketchy video.

In a move that proves karma to be the Most Righteous of All Bitches, the makers of those “scandalous” Planned Parenthood videos have been brought up on charges in connection with their operation.

We will not be having our first woman president and I, for one, must grieve. A dream deferred.

If you’re like me, you’ve probably been getting annual pelvic exams since you were a teenager. You did this because conventional wisdom told you that you needed a Pap smear and a physical exam to keep your vagina and uterus up and running. Also, your doctor probably held your birth control prescription hostage every year until you came in to get checked out.

We interrupt Rav’s Radar’s usual discussion of Important Items of News to discuss bras. Specifically, bralettes. Specifically, these: