Rebekah Kuschmider

PornHub has announced the upcoming launch of BangFit, a phone app that — you guessed it — helps you get fit by banging.

In addition to being named the first non-human Meridian Hometown Hero, Jaxon has been awarded a probationary firefighter badge.

In an exceedingly weird story, parents of an unnamed 14 year old girl filed suit against Avenues: The World School, a private school in New York City, after their daughter was caught vaping in the bathroom with Fatima Ptacek, the voice of Dora.

Ah, the oh-so-common slippery slope idea. If same sex marriages are to be legal, why not other kinds of marriages? Why not polygamy or polyandry or marriage to animals or that lady who married a roller coaster?

Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders and Jeb Bush and so many other candidates were imperfect and problematic in their own ways, but they were also career public servants who knew the risks and the responsibilities of the office. They expected it to be hard. They were ready for it to be hard. We should have elected one of them.

Hey, guys! Remember a few months ago when I predicted that Hillary Clinton’s email troubles wouldn’t land her in prison? Well, I was totally right!

This year, as a special treat from Mother Nature, who appears to be pro-choice, there will be a blizzard bearing down on DC as the marchers do their anti-choice thing. Now, I’m a long time DC area resident. I’ve seen a lot of these marches, and there are a few things I know:

The worlds of theme parks and virtual reality give us all kinds of opportunities to experience adventures that are out of the realm of possibility.

Put on your robes, grab your spell books, and get down to the Great Hall! It’s breakfast time at Hogwarts!

Serial fans rejoice! Adnan is getting a new trial!