Rebekah Kuschmider

If the point they’re trying to make is that creepers are gonna creep, well, I hope they get a look in the mirror while they’re in there.

The Obamas are meeting with the Queen Elizabeth II of England this week in honor of her 90th birthday. They gave her a custom photo album with pictures of the Queen with past Presidents and First Ladies.

When I saw the trending hashtag #DemocraticWhores, I got really excited, thinking maybe Democrats were all strutting around today in those sensational boots Julia Roberts wore way back in Pretty Woman. Nancy Pelosi could rock those boots, don’t you think?

Do you know about skin cancer? Of course you do. It's not like it's a secret. Skin cancer is a very bad thing that can happen to anyone with skin. So if you're planning on tanning it up this year, easy solution: just don't.

The FDA has announced that Mibelas 24 Fe pills, made by Lupin Pharmaceuticals, is under recall due to packaging errors that mixed up the active pills and the placebos. In the case of the recalled lot, the packets have 24 active pills, four placebo pills, then four more placebo pills. That’s too many days without the active pills and your body — your pregnancy risk just got a WHOLE LOT HIGHER.

In a move that proves karma to be the Most Righteous of All Bitches, the makers of those “scandalous” Planned Parenthood videos have been brought up on charges in connection with their operation.

There is now a sex toy called the Sqweel that looks like a cross between an Epilady and something you would find at a craft store, maybe in the rubber stamp section. It’s supposed to look like a wheel of tongues, but honestly? I think it could also be used to paint borders on decorative plates or something.

Someone is going to try and tell you that John McCain saved Obamacare. Or Lisa Murkowski. Or Susan Collins. But it was you. YOU.

I've spent most of today trying not to confront the news that a terrorist instigated an explosion outside a London concert by Ariana Grande last night. I’m trying hard not to know that 22 people have died and dozens more were injured. I’m trying not to realize that most of the people who attend such concerts are girls, young girls, and the parents who love them.

Listen, we’ve all been over this before. Human beings have bodies and those bodies are theirs to use as they see fit. They can put on clothes or not. They can be photographed or not. They can marry megalomaniacal real estate tycoons who think they’d be good at being president or not. AND ALL OF THAT IS JUST FINE.