Rebekah Kuschmider

Back in the old days, before the Internet was in our pockets, finding a vacation rental involved travel agents. Finding a vacation rental equipped with kinky sex equipment...Well, I don’t know how that would have worked. Luckily for all the fetishists out there, those dark days are behind us.

The Russian meddling, the Kremlin favoring his father, the offer to provide information with material value to the Trump campaign. Did Donald Trump Jr. know it was illegal? I dunno. But he went ahead and did it all anyway.

In my travels around the internet today, I happened upon an article about something Mike Rowe, dirty job expert

A guy named Dave Johnson swears up and down that the Ramsey family staged the whole thing and then went on to live new lives as the Perry family. He cites Katy Perry’s eyebrows as proof. "You know, the eyebrows don't change much on a person," he claims. "You're born with your eyebrows.”

The next few months are going to feel like drinking from a firehose of bad political news. Just today, my email is pinging away with alerts about all the executive orders that Trump seems to have signed expressly to make me, Rebekah Kuschmider, lose my mind. I keep feeling jolts of adrenaline, and I reach for my phone to email or call or Tweet or SOMETHING to release my endless rage.

We all need a little magic sometimes.

Hello. I am writing to you from a place of rage over the House of Representatives’ misguided attempts to reform health care.

See, sex requires everyone in the room be on board for whatever is happening. Some people like to think that they’re so in tune with their partner that they know what they can do and what they can’t do, but that’s a dangerous supposition. At any moment during a sexual encounter, something can change. Consent can be withdrawn.

The race itself was anti-climactic because it wasn’t a race. It was basically two heats of a race. First, scientists convinced a wild great white to chase a hunk of fake seal meat for 100 meters so they could time it. Then Phelps donned a specially designed shark suit and swam the exact same route.

For the moment, the plan is to see how transplants in several pilot programs across the country work, then possibly make the procedure more routine for women who were born without a uterus, or who suffered later damage and needed to have it removed.