Rebekah Kuschmider

I’ve never read the Quran or attended a Mosque, but I’m pretty certain that if anyone had the chance to speak directly with the god Allah or the Prophet Muhammad, they would not be saying “Bitches be crazy, yo. Keep them bitches down.”

If you are looking for a slightly spooky career change this Halloween season, I’m here to tell you that the Catholic Church is looking for a few good… exorcists.

Most dog owners will go on at length about how cute their dogs are. Not so, Jason Wurtz of Encinco, CA. Mr. Wurtz, in fact, went the polar opposite route by leading his dog to victory in the 2016 World’s Ugliest Dog contest.

It doesn’t even get to the biggest question: when will airlines start offering complimentary cocktails at all price points?

Miami police officers have announced they will boycott Beyoncé​’s Formation tour, possibly going so far as refusing to sign up to staff the Spring show in Miami. The spokesman for the Miami Fraternal Order of Police says Beyoncé’s halftime performance “shows how she does not support law enforcement.”

Do you know about skin cancer? Of course you do. It's not like it's a secret. Skin cancer is a very bad thing that can happen to anyone with skin. So if you're planning on tanning it up this year, easy solution: just don't.

CANCER NEEDS TO KEEP ITS GRUBBY MITTS OFF OF OUR ARTISTIC LEGENDS, DAMMIT.

1 in 3 families struggle to afford diapers. This is not a small issue; when parents try to minimize the number of diapers used by keeping wet or soiled diapers on a baby, it can cause health problems like urinary tract infections and skin irritations.

In the midst of this firestorm was poor Rachael Ray, who has never been linked to JayZ in any way. The only thing she did was have a name similar to Rachel Roy, so she’s feeling the sting. Lemons and bees keep appearing in her comments sections. Hopefully, her signature humor will rule the day and she’ll invent a lemon-honey dessert called Becky Bars to show us she’s not mad.

I guess that’s why the slogan is “HE went to Jared” instead of “SHE went to Jared”. Only HE could afford to shop there after working there.