Rebekah Kuschmider

Hey, Potterheads! Have you preordered your copy of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child yet? Or bought tickets to see it in London? Does the wait for new Potter installments seem interminable? Well, fear not, wizards and muggles! There is magic afoot, and it’s happening right here on the shores of the US of A!

What could taste better than a sleeve of Thin Mints pulled from the freezer for a mouthful of cool, minty goodness? How about a tray of Thin-Mints-flavored brownies pulled from the oven for a mouthful of gooey, warm, minty goodness?

Periods happen. They just do. This is neither a good thing nor a bad thing. It’s just a thing. Like how hunger happens, or or a sneeze happens. It’s a body thing that… happens.

One quick phone call to your representatives in Congress to tell them to preserve access to health care under the ACA will make a difference for babies like Jimmy Kimmel's son, Billy — and so many other Americans.

The First Amendment of the Constitution guarantees every citizen the right to petition the government for redress of grievances. Notably, there are no instructions for exactly how to petition the government, and no limits on what kind of grievances for which citizens may seek redress. Which is why it’s totally constitutional and patriotic that a lady lit into Florida Governor Rick Scott in a Starbucks.

“And I saw something wrapped around her, so I ran up and punched it in the side of the head,” Gibbs told the CBC. “At that point, I realized it was a cougar.”

I got a puppy last fall, and I’ve spent about a zillion dollars on different things for her to chew. She really likes bully sticks, which are dehydrated bull penises. It cracks me up every time I give one to her and say, “Here. Go eat a dick.”

“The reason cats are so pissy is they’re God’s perfect killing machines but they only weigh 8lbs and we keep picking them up and kissing them” - Da

Massachusetts couple Lauri and Cari Ryding came home from vacation to find their porch a mess. Someone had egged their house. They were targeted because they’re gay — the vandals made their hate apparent by also stealing the Ryding’s rainbow flag.

You might know that they call six-toed cats Hemmingways. But what do they call four-eared cats? Well, in the case of one such kitty in Pennsylvania, they call him… Batman.