Rebekah Kuschmider

While the pirates of old were famous for having parrots on their shoulders, Instagram sensation Guirec Soudée, a 24-year-old French man, has spent two years sailing around the world with a bird of a different feather — his pet chicken Monique.

They unmanned a man using manhood. They dicked the dick.

Musician Kid Rock has announced that he intends to run for the Senate as a Republican in Michigan. Athlete and reality TV star Caitlyn Jenner has teased about a run as a Republican in California. Neither would-be candidate has filed the official candidacy paperwork as of this time. I hope they don’t. At least not until they learn something about governance.

Apparently, there is a type of wasp that deposits its larvae inside oak trees, where they grow inside the wood, nourished on oak bark and wasp poop. You can collect these wasp incubators — called oak galls — and do stuff with them. The Etsy seller says they’re good for all kinds of “traditional” medicinal uses like tightening the vagina and uterus after childbirth. THIS IS A BAD IDEA!

I have zero interest in reliving the years of mutually assured destruction that characterized U.S.-Russian relations during my childhood. And I definitely don't want to do it with Kim Jong Un, who is far less level-headed than Mikhail Gorbachev. And I sure as hell don't want to do it with Donald Trump.

If you happen to be on the University of Texas, Austin campus on Wednesday, August 24th, be prepared to rock out with your cock out. Well, your dildo out.

Over the years, Sesame Street has been a pioneer in holding up a mirror to the lived experiences of children and giving them a friendly re

THEY THINK SLAVERY WAS A GOOD THING. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?

Dating can be awkward and weird, especially when things seem to be going well and the time comes to discuss big issues. We’ve all have conversations about careers, and kids, and travel, and birth control, and abortion, and HIV status, and million other cringe-worthy topics but have you ever asked if your date owns a gun?

Yeah, no. No one wants their bottle of body wash to look like their actual body.