Rebekah Kuschmider

So, I’m scrolling through my news feed this morning, looking for something to brighten my day, and I see a headline that catches my eye. Seems 21 Jump Steet co-stars Channing Tatum and Jillian Bell are slated to star in a remake of Splash, the 1984 movie where Daryl Hannah played a mermaid seeking love on land. “Oh wow,” I thought to myself. “How cool would it be if Channing Tatum were the mer-person in this movie?”

I guess that’s why the slogan is “HE went to Jared” instead of “SHE went to Jared”. Only HE could afford to shop there after working there.

Would a llama really take out a lynx? The Lynx Trust says yes, but sheep farmers remain unconvinced. While no ruling has been made on lynx or llama introduction, the winner of this battle royale may end up being the sheep that fuel the local economy and many a Sunday dinner.

LGBTQ activists and the mayor of London have come up with a new, polite, inclusive opening for Tube announcements. Employees will now say “Hello everybody” as their opening phrase, rather than "ladies and gentlemen."

If you owe the feds a tax payment and don’t want to pay by check or e-transfer, you can make a cash payment in person at 7-11 stores. This is incredibly helpful for people who don’t have bank accounts or credit cards — or people who need to get taxes paid locally, at a spot near public transportation.

You know how humans sometimes put out in order to pay their rent? Well, penguins put out to get building materials for their nests.

Happy National Coming Out Day! We make it a point to affirm the value of every individual, regardless of gender, sexuality, or relationship status.

While the campaign strategy of insulting minorities, women, immigrants, disabled people, and the LGBTQ community may win some electoral votes, it doesn’t make creative people — many of whom are women, minorities, immigrants, disabled, LGBTQ, or allies of the aforementioned — want to be seen on a stage with him.

Follow these tips and you will look well-rested, you will not have camel toe, your underwire won’t poke you in the armpit, your hair will smell nice, your knuckles might not crack in the cold weather, and you will have enough money leftover for icing and sprinkles for the next absurd elementary school party. Huzzah!

A judge in Oklahoma dismissed a case involving sexual assault of a drunk 16 year old girl. Allegedly, the girl was so intoxicated that she had to be carried to the boy’s car and witnesses say she was in and out of consciousness in the car. She was later brought to a family member’s home, still unconscious. The family member had her taken to the hospital where her blood alcohol level was tested at .34 and DNA from the boy was found around her mouth and on the back of her leg.