Rebekah Kuschmider

Everyone knows that Hillary Clinton got three million more votes than Donald Trump, right? Yeah. It’s true.

In the midst of a week that’s been rife with sadness and confusion, I am pleased to present to you a story that is unequivocally happy. A fairy tale ending, if you will.

I know a woman who worked in an inner-city hospital before the passage of Roe v Wade. Every week, staff there saw women come in battling massive infection or blood loss. They actually reserved beds for women like this because it was so common. The cause? Illegal, unsafe abortions. But that was then, right? That was 42 years ago, right? That doesn’t happen anymore, right? Wrong.

Drop the douchebag, folks. Your vagina will thank you.

The Daily Mail did the hard work of tracking down prices for the various products Kylie has on her face — and ears — and the retail cost of using them would be $500.

PornHub has announced the upcoming launch of BangFit, a phone app that — you guessed it — helps you get fit by banging.

So far, April is mainly just walking around and not giving birth, which is probably annoying to poor April. There’s nothing quite like the end of pregnancy, when you just want to be done with it and get to the part where you have a baby. Maybe it’s different for giraffes, but that’s sure how I felt when I was pregnant.

So we have a new Justice on the Supreme Court.

As if you needed another reason to love England’s Prince William, he just became the first member of the Royal Family to appear on the cover of an LGBT publication!

This week saw a new high-water mark of professional-level weird in the Senate Republicans’ attempts to repeal Obamacare and replace it was a set of tax cuts, paid for by kicking 14 million people off Medicaid.