Rebekah Kuschmider

There is literally zero precedent for foreign influence on elections in the US — at least to this degree — and no one seems to know what to do with the information.

Is Hillary Clinton going to jail for having email? The world — and last night’s debate moderators — want to know!

The short answer is: probably not.

Unless one of her emails contains a confession for actually killing Vince Foster. Which seems unlikely, since Hillary has a law degree from Yale and I think the first thing they teach you there is, “Don’t write incriminating shit down.”

First Daughter and fashion mogul Ivanka Trump’s company announced this week that it will be discontinuing her eponymous line of fine jewelry.

There’s more backstory to all of this, I’m certain, but I’m a 42 year old white lady who listens to show tunes on the treadmill, so hip hop beefs are a little over my head.

In the midst of a week that’s been rife with sadness and confusion, I am pleased to present to you a story that is unequivocally happy. A fairy tale ending, if you will.

“Sometimes a lady has to be told when she’s being nasty.”

The Congressional baseball game has been happening for over 100 years. It is a highlight of summer among Beltway folks. And during this morning's practice, some fuckwit opened fire. And he shot people who could have been my husband, or any of his bosses, or any of his coworkers, or any of our myriad friends on the Hill. And I am shattered.

Hopeful readers, may I present to you, the three-time mayor of Cormorant, Minnesota: DUKE!

It is a truth universally acknowledged that there is no such thing as a perfect bra. More annoying is the equally-universally acknowledged truth that good bras are never cheap, and cheap bras are seldom any good.

Legendary author J.K. Rowling is begging fans of her series about the young wizard not to purchase a handwritten, 800-word story she wrote as a prequel to the Potter tales.