Rebekah Kuschmider

Hey, guys! Remember a few months ago when I predicted that Hillary Clinton’s email troubles wouldn’t land her in prison? Well, I was totally right!

Now, if you need me, I’m going to see if I can rig something similar for my dog so she can tell me if she’s barking at real danger or just a cheeky squirrel.

I’ve gotta say, mind-magic like this would be an exciting addition to the scope of presidential powers.

Nike is getting ready to debut a line of sport hijabs for Muslim athletes.

Maybe grown-ups do their best physical work in a spin class with an instructor telling us when to stand up and when to sit down, but kids get enough of that kind of structure in the classroom. What they really need is more time to do their own thing.

A judge in Oklahoma dismissed a case involving sexual assault of a drunk 16 year old girl. Allegedly, the girl was so intoxicated that she had to be carried to the boy’s car and witnesses say she was in and out of consciousness in the car. She was later brought to a family member’s home, still unconscious. The family member had her taken to the hospital where her blood alcohol level was tested at .34 and DNA from the boy was found around her mouth and on the back of her leg.

CANCER NEEDS TO KEEP ITS GRUBBY MITTS OFF OF OUR ARTISTIC LEGENDS, DAMMIT.

I have zero interest in reliving the years of mutually assured destruction that characterized U.S.-Russian relations during my childhood. And I definitely don't want to do it with Kim Jong Un, who is far less level-headed than Mikhail Gorbachev. And I sure as hell don't want to do it with Donald Trump.

“Wait,” you’re saying. “Was that ever a question? How many votes are we supposed to get? I only get one. Is there a BOGO sale on votes somewhere? Why is this before the Supreme Court at all?”

You know how humans sometimes put out in order to pay their rent? Well, penguins put out to get building materials for their nests.