Gigi Engle

Forget a hot bod! I just want someone who knows himself.

You guys have a lot of trouble dating these days, now that women have this silly notion in their marble-sized brains that they should maybe want to be treated like equals to you. HOW RIDICULOUS. EW! Luckily, you can work around these ideals. Women aren’t really smart enough to comprehend them anyway, you know?

It’s no secret that sex ed is a mess.

I found that Yoni crystals can apparently put you at risk for toxic shock?!??! And I was like: WHAAAAAT?!?!!?!?

You can’t change a fuckboy.

Here’s the absolute truth: you cannot change a fuckboy unless he wants to change by himself. This is where girls get messed up. They think that a guy is going to change his crappy behavior for HER. This is not the case 99.9% of the time. If he’s a fuckboy, he’s not ready to stop being one. It doesn’t matter how great you are or how much you love him. Trust me.

He has to make that decision for himself.

An open letter to that guy at the gym who wants everyone to hear him grunting.

I have accumulated plenty of sex tips for fellow uncoordinated people. Embrace your quirks so everyone can get off! Here are seven of my absolute favorite, tried and true ways to keep sex fun and simple.

Screw manicures and blowouts: masturbation is the ultimate act of self-care. It’s good for your health, and you should be doing it all the time.

It is a strange thing to find oneself at the tentative intersection of being female, sex positive, and in a long-term, monogamous relationship.