Gigi Engle

You don’t even have to be a good person to be incredible at sex, apparently (my ex proves this).

If we stopped buying into the idea that it takes a relationship to be whole, we’d all be better people. I'm happy I'm single!

The vagina is as magical and beautiful as a unicorn gallivanting through a sea of daisies on a warm spring day. Therefore, the vagina should be treated as a magical and beautiful creature: with care love and endless devotion.

You guys have a lot of trouble dating these days, now that women have this silly notion in their marble-sized brains that they should maybe want to be treated like equals to you. HOW RIDICULOUS. EW! Luckily, you can work around these ideals. Women aren’t really smart enough to comprehend them anyway, you know?

I feel absolutely zero shame or embarrassment saying I am one hell of a badass bitch. I’m sure of myself and I know who I am. What many who know me don’t know is that when it comes to sex, I am a submissive. And there ain’t nothing wrong with that, honey.

Finding love actually doesn’t begin when you find the right person. It begins when you love yourself. Being single may be scary and all, but it’s going to help you find “the one” faster than jumping from person to person. If you don’t know how to stand on your own, how can you expect to know what a partnership looks like?

How do you know if you should marry your partner? It’s true that it is “just a feeling” to some extent.

Screw manicures and blowouts: masturbation is the ultimate act of self-care. It’s good for your health, and you should be doing it all the time.

Sex is amazing, but let’s address the giant pink, dildo in the room: while sex IS super fun, sex is also exhausting. It’s an entire workout in itself.

Every strong woman needs a playlist to play while having sex. She needs a compilation of her empowering badassery to put her in the mood and keep her there.